Playing to win

Trying to win is pretty much what everyone is doing when playing competitive games.  But recently I have noticed that I am not always playing to win in fighting games.  In particular, it happens when playing against really strong players who have that special aura.  You know, the aura that makes you second guess yourself with every action you take.  For Guilty Gear, the only players in my region who seem to have that aura are Jo and Eiji.  When I play against them, it feels like I’m trying to hold back the tide.  It becomes less about playing to win and more about playing to not lose.  Part of it also has to do with both of them playing characters who have explosive damage potential.

This is probably one of the reasons why I seem to be unable to get better in Gundam.  Because in that game, I am pretty much always playing to not lose.  It is clear that my fundamental understanding of that game is weak, so I need to work on that.

2014 in review

Since everyone else is doing it, here is a summary of my 2014!

The good

• Reading – This is definitely the year where I spent the most amount of time doing some quality reading.  As a result, I am way more in-tune with 2014 current events and news than any other year.  This is definitely because of me getting a smartphone.  I technically got the smartphone in 2013, but it wasn’t until 2014 that I really started to use it for everyday things.  So I would just use my phone to read the news when I wasn’t doing anything outside.  Thank you gReader, you are the god.  And Reddit News!
• Productivity – My resolution for the last New Year’s was to be more productive, and for once I actually followed through!  I wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be, but it was still an improvement compared to 2013.
• Enjoying fighting games – I was going through a slump in fighting games for most of 2014.  I really wasn’t enjoying them as much as I used to and it felt like a chore just to keep up.  Luckily I seem to have gotten out of the slump, and I am now way more motivated to keep practicing.  I’m pretty sure switching back to pad from stick helped.
• Writing – There were several moments in 2014 where I felt very motivated to write, and for once I actually went through with it!  I found that the biggest thing that held me back from writing was just figuring out where to start.  Reading the short post The 30 second habit with a lifelong impact on Medium was particularly inspirational and helped me start a lot of pieces that I’ve had on my mind for awhile.

The bad

• Social media – Getting a smartphone wasn’t entirely a good thing.  I did spend a lot more time reading the news, but I also wasted a lot of time on social media.  I definitely have to dial it back this year.
• Keeping in touch – I was reaaaaalllly bad at keeping in contact with my college and high school friends in 2014.  Not really sure what happened.  There was just something about 2014 that made me way more antisocial than before.
• Quitting stick – Yeah I know I listed this in the good section, but it was also a bad thing because I never fully transitioned to stick.  I made a lot of progress, but it sucks to stop something when you have been working on it for over a year.
• Being true – I feel like I spent a good deal of 2014 worrying about what other people thought of me.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I really should have been more true to myself.

So my New Year’s resolution for 2015 is to just be myself, and make more of an effort to stay in touch with my college friends!